“For what gives you the right to make such a judgment? What
do you have that God hasn't given you? And if everything you have is from God,
why boast as though it were not a gift?” -1 Corinthians 4:7
Since moving to Huntsville and living on my own again, I have been blessed with the opportunity to slow down, sit back, and observe. Transitioning from a year of nonstop on-the-go, a year where I really only spoke with adults or children (not many people my age), a year where I felt I constantly had to think about everything I did from fear of other people’s judgments, a year where people found satisfaction judging my every move yet a year where I was constantly built up by people I knew well and by people I barely knew, a year where people knew me as “Miss Georgia,” and a year that was completely unpredictable proved to be more difficult than I thought.
I moved to Huntsville four months ago with an unrealistic expectation for myself; the expectation I would jump right back into school after 1.5 years off and be just fine, the expectation I would feel no pressure because no one out here knew I was Miss Georgia, the expectation I would connect with those around me right off the bat, and the expectation I would continue on my uphill road to recovery with no relapse. Well, the opposite happened. I really struggled transitioning back into studying and memorizing things other than people’s names and the familiar questions one gets as a state titleholder. I struggled with releasing the pressure I still felt. I struggled connecting deeply with people around me, even though I made friends right away. I undoubtedly relapsed in recovery and found myself in the hospital for five nights instead of attending Miss America 2014 and getting to reunite with all my friends.
With as many things going “wrong," I was still able to enjoy the things around me and the people around me. A concept I did not previously know. As many of you can relate, all-or-nothing thinking is easy to fall victim to. Throughout my journey of recovery and growth, the idea of being mindful and appreciating the small things has been drilled into my head. Even in the middle of stress from not being able to memorize all my Microbiology definitions and tables, God reminded me to stop and enjoy my new bedroom I was able to decorate. In the middle of failing at trying to balance classes, fun, quiet time, health, and sleep, I was reminded to step outside everyday and thank the mighty hands of God that created the blissful sky and the sturdy ground beneath us. In the middle of fighting for my life and freedom again and realizing I didn’t live up to my own expectation of not relapsing, I was gently reminded of the small victories. The victories of waking up and eating breakfast; the victories of being content with setting my schoolbooks down and watching TV; the victories of not feeling betrayed and frustrated with myself and with God when I made poor choices for my recovery, but instead taking the time to learn from them. While these victories may seem very small to you all, as they did to me at the time, I want to remind you it’s the small victories that carry us through day by day. It’s not the work promotion, the full ride scholarship, the winning of a state title, a high A on an exam, or being freed from whatever stronghold Satan has on your life. No, life is not about those things. Life is about searching for the “small” victories every second of every day.
In a society that brings attention to only the biggest of accomplishments and a society that perpetuates the idea of measuring one’s success based on salary, job title, worldly accomplishments, school status, etc., it is too easy to disregard the small victories because "they aren’t a big deal.” Each small victory of yours is a blessing from God, and when you undermine your small victories, you are undermining God’s intricate works.
Whether you have no money in the bank, cannot seem to live a healthy lifestyle, are battling an addition of any kind (sex, alcohol, food, control, success, etc.), overwhelmed with your career and the work load, feel like you’re failing as a parent, or just feeling down, I want to encourage you to take out a piece of paper and write three things you have done correctly today. Trust me, you can think of at least three. Continue writing as many down as you can (waking up and getting out of bed, eating breakfast, getting ready, encouraging someone, praying, running errands, taking a few minutes for yourself, and the list goes on and on). You are able to do each one of those things by the grace of God. They might be viewed as small victories in your mind, but they are the work of our Heavenly Father!! Praise God.
This might seem redundant to many of you as the saying “search for the silver lining” is tossed around all the time, but it is a practice (yes, a continuous practice, not a skill one ever truly accomplishes) worth being reminded of. I see things on social media all the time where people preface their posts with an awesome blessing/miracle from God, yet they end it with a “but….” Do not fall into the trap of allowing the bigger worries to undermine the smaller triumphs, as “every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17
Be grateful for where you are today, as where you are today is further than you were yesterday. Do life with God, not with yourself. Christ knows you. Christ loves you and gave His life for you. His love paid the price for mercy. He never leaves us on our own. The proof of grace over your life makes your life a trophy for God.
Since moving to Huntsville and living on my own again, I have been blessed with the opportunity to slow down, sit back, and observe. Transitioning from a year of nonstop on-the-go, a year where I really only spoke with adults or children (not many people my age), a year where I felt I constantly had to think about everything I did from fear of other people’s judgments, a year where people found satisfaction judging my every move yet a year where I was constantly built up by people I knew well and by people I barely knew, a year where people knew me as “Miss Georgia,” and a year that was completely unpredictable proved to be more difficult than I thought.
I moved to Huntsville four months ago with an unrealistic expectation for myself; the expectation I would jump right back into school after 1.5 years off and be just fine, the expectation I would feel no pressure because no one out here knew I was Miss Georgia, the expectation I would connect with those around me right off the bat, and the expectation I would continue on my uphill road to recovery with no relapse. Well, the opposite happened. I really struggled transitioning back into studying and memorizing things other than people’s names and the familiar questions one gets as a state titleholder. I struggled with releasing the pressure I still felt. I struggled connecting deeply with people around me, even though I made friends right away. I undoubtedly relapsed in recovery and found myself in the hospital for five nights instead of attending Miss America 2014 and getting to reunite with all my friends.
With as many things going “wrong," I was still able to enjoy the things around me and the people around me. A concept I did not previously know. As many of you can relate, all-or-nothing thinking is easy to fall victim to. Throughout my journey of recovery and growth, the idea of being mindful and appreciating the small things has been drilled into my head. Even in the middle of stress from not being able to memorize all my Microbiology definitions and tables, God reminded me to stop and enjoy my new bedroom I was able to decorate. In the middle of failing at trying to balance classes, fun, quiet time, health, and sleep, I was reminded to step outside everyday and thank the mighty hands of God that created the blissful sky and the sturdy ground beneath us. In the middle of fighting for my life and freedom again and realizing I didn’t live up to my own expectation of not relapsing, I was gently reminded of the small victories. The victories of waking up and eating breakfast; the victories of being content with setting my schoolbooks down and watching TV; the victories of not feeling betrayed and frustrated with myself and with God when I made poor choices for my recovery, but instead taking the time to learn from them. While these victories may seem very small to you all, as they did to me at the time, I want to remind you it’s the small victories that carry us through day by day. It’s not the work promotion, the full ride scholarship, the winning of a state title, a high A on an exam, or being freed from whatever stronghold Satan has on your life. No, life is not about those things. Life is about searching for the “small” victories every second of every day.
In a society that brings attention to only the biggest of accomplishments and a society that perpetuates the idea of measuring one’s success based on salary, job title, worldly accomplishments, school status, etc., it is too easy to disregard the small victories because "they aren’t a big deal.” Each small victory of yours is a blessing from God, and when you undermine your small victories, you are undermining God’s intricate works.
Whether you have no money in the bank, cannot seem to live a healthy lifestyle, are battling an addition of any kind (sex, alcohol, food, control, success, etc.), overwhelmed with your career and the work load, feel like you’re failing as a parent, or just feeling down, I want to encourage you to take out a piece of paper and write three things you have done correctly today. Trust me, you can think of at least three. Continue writing as many down as you can (waking up and getting out of bed, eating breakfast, getting ready, encouraging someone, praying, running errands, taking a few minutes for yourself, and the list goes on and on). You are able to do each one of those things by the grace of God. They might be viewed as small victories in your mind, but they are the work of our Heavenly Father!! Praise God.
This might seem redundant to many of you as the saying “search for the silver lining” is tossed around all the time, but it is a practice (yes, a continuous practice, not a skill one ever truly accomplishes) worth being reminded of. I see things on social media all the time where people preface their posts with an awesome blessing/miracle from God, yet they end it with a “but….” Do not fall into the trap of allowing the bigger worries to undermine the smaller triumphs, as “every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17
Be grateful for where you are today, as where you are today is further than you were yesterday. Do life with God, not with yourself. Christ knows you. Christ loves you and gave His life for you. His love paid the price for mercy. He never leaves us on our own. The proof of grace over your life makes your life a trophy for God.
Father, I come before you today with a wrecked heart. A
heart with a burning desire to never complain and to always be thankful for
each and every thing in life, but a mind that continually falls victim to
society’s standards and stressors. A heart that yearns to please Your presence,
but a mind that allows outside worries to silence that deep yearning. God, I
pray you will continue shaking my soul and reminding me my small victories are
the works of Your unrelenting grace; that you will remind all those reading
this of Your expectations and requests and remind them it is the small wins
that will carry them through day by day…not the big ones. I praise Your name,
God, and I thank you for loving me and never giving up on me. In your precious
and powerful name, Amen.
-Love in Christ,
Leighton
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